Do True Friends Exist?

When you hear the phrase “true friends”, what is the first thought that comes to your mind? For me, it is genuine, available, and loyal. The Collins dictionary defines true friends as “the ones who identify what would actually help us, and sincerely offer it.” 

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But Who Are Considered True Friends? 

True friends are persons that you can trust and rely on regardless of circumstances, true friends are genuine and have your best interests at heart. 

We have all been guilty at some point for using the word “friend” lightly, oftentimes people confuse mere acquaintances as friends, then when this supposed friend acts out of character you are left confused, even though a lot of people won’t admit it because we are all activist for cutting toxic people off, you also feel very sad and let down. 

It’s okay to feel these emotions because when you regard some persons as true friends you let your guards down to certain extents, you welcome these persons into your life, and one day everything with the friendship is suddenly out of balance until it eventually capsized. 

People are responsible for their actions and behaviors, but in other to avoid feeling this way over broken friendships there are characteristics you should look out for in the course of getting to know a person before you call anyone your true friend.

Signs Of  True Friends. 

True Friends are a big deal and should be regarded as such. Do you ever wonder, when searching for a job, why you still have to go for interviews after sending in your CV? It is because you need to be accessed to see if your qualifications are actually what you said they are and if they are what the company requires. 

Are you saying friendship is a JOB!? No, what I am saying is that the people you call true friends have a significant role to play in your life, you should recognize that and access the characters of people before you let them hold an important place in your life. Rather than discuss what to look out for and avoid, let’s discuss signs of true friends.

A)  True Friends Are Genuine:

To be genuine is to be true and authentic to who you say you are, not just by words but by actions too. True friends are genuine and transparent with you; they see no reason to pretend around you by camouflaging who they are. 

 True friends don’t see the need to hide who they are to be seen a certain way or to lie about their background. 

If a person says this is who I am and proceeds to act differently, then that is not a genuine person. Genuineness shows that if they are being real with you about themselves both in words and actions, this person will keep it real with you in the course of your relationship as friends. 

For a person to be genuine with you shows they do not care to judge you, true friends do not care about where you come from or mistakes you’ve made in the past, they only care about you and will accept you without any pretense or reserved malice.

B) True Friends Are Loyal:

To be loyal means to show continuous support and commitment. When you become friends with a person, loyalty is expected. Without loyalty, friendship is dangerous and could quickly backfire. 

Why? Stories are exchanged in the journey of being friends, traumas from the past, aspirations for the future, you want to share all of these knowing they are in safe hands that will not be swayed to betray you regardless of circumstance. 

Back in the university, I became friends with these set of girls that were already friends, they were three in number so it was a clique, I was the new friend to all of them and they all seemed to like me. 

When we were all together, it was all love, bonding, and sharing of experiences, I never talked about myself a lot, but I liked listening to them; three girls from the same community that has been friends since high school. It was a beautiful story, but as soon as a person wasn’t present it was like the love was gone and they would say such foul things about the absent person. Sometimes disagreeing with the person’s values or choice of partner.

Slowly, I removed myself from that mess of a friendship because if they talked about an old friend how much more me? The new one! No, thank you! 

True friends are loyal, they would disagree with you to your face, having your best interest at heart. A true friend will still say good and true things about you in your absence, defending you if need be, because that is what true friendship is about, having someone you can count on.

C) True Friends Are Available:

Availability is a sign of true friendship, as friends that try to make time to always be there for you are golden. Acknowledging that your friendship is like a plant that needs to be watered is a wonderful thing. 

In a situation where a friend has lost a loved one, is sick, or is going through heartbreak, a true friend knows to be available in such difficult times. Reminiscing of the story my cousin told me of how she was very sick and she stayed alone, but she had a friend who stayed next door with her boyfriend. 

This friend would come to check up on her and then go back next door to her boyfriend. My cousin seemed fine with it, but then I asked her; why didn’t she spend the night with you considering how bad it was, what if something happened at night? And she stuttered “maybe she had to go be with her boyfriend?” 

I think we can all agree to want to take care of people we love to the best of our ability, a person that loves you will not see you in such bad shape and leave you all alone to take care of yourself. True friends take care of each other, they go the extra mile.

D) True Friends Are Good Listener:

Being a good listener isn’t just about hearing a person and nodding in affirmation. A good listener makes you feel heard and understood, going the extra mile of chipping in their helpful suggestions and opinions. 

True friends are persons that listen without bias, telling you what the truth of the situation is rather than what you want to hear.

E) True Friends Are Supportive:

A sign of a true friend is supportiveness. A person who encourages you to not give up on your dreams is a true friend, true friends are willing to do whatever they can do in their power to ensure you succeed. 

A person who brings constant awareness to your business at every opportunity they get is a true friend. True friends want you to succeed, friends uplift each other. Anyone you can count on to have your back regardless of unforeseen circumstance is a true friend.

And so, do true friends exist? 

This question has been asked by almost everyone at some points in their lives, from a young age we can already tell people are phony, you think about the girl Lisa told you not to speak to in elementary school but you see them the next day holding hands. 

Life comes at you fast growing up, you did not exactly know what to expect from friends so you got hurt even backstabbed a few times and it brings you to the point of wondering if true friends exist? Well, the answer is yes, of course, true friends exist. 

As much as there was a Lisa, there is always Taylor who was kind and shared her food with the kid who got bullied. Good people exist in the world just as much as bad people do. 

True friendships are attainable but of course, it is rare to find a person who loves you unconditionally like family. Everyone deserves to have at least one true friend, and when you find your true friend or friends, how do you make that relationship last? 

Making a genuine relationship last shouldn’t be a difficult height to attain, the first step would be:

A) Communication: 

Communication is a vital part of every relationship, it’s important to talk to your true friends as much as you can. 

B) Spend Time Together With Your True Friend: 

Amidst work and personal activities, ensure to make out time to hang out with your true friends, sometimes you don’t realize how much you’ve missed a person until you see them. It also allows rekindling your bond. 

C) Talk About Your Dreams: 

Dreams are adored purposes and aspirations. Your friendship should be a safe ground where passionate things can be discussed. Listening and talking about each other’s aspirations creates a bond as well as tightens it. 

D) Always Square Out Disagreements: 

Disagreements are bound to happen in friendships and that is okay, but it is important to hash out these disagreements and meet at a middle ground so that moving forward, the disagreement doesn’t become a problem and causes both parties to drift.

How To Make True Friends. 

If true friends exist, then how do we become friends with such people? Do they have a special place they gather to take their friendships vows? Of course not! To make actual friends, there are certain things we can do in hopes to meet such people, such as: 

A) Meet New People Going To Events You Enjoy:

In the quest of making true friends, we must be willing to put ourselves out there, as new friends don’t just show up on your doorstep. 

Comfort and compatibility are important factors. You want to go to events that interest you, as it makes it easier to establish a conversation and connection with a potential true friend. 

B) Be The Energy You Want to Attract: 

As human beings, we have the same effects as a magnet. We can either attract or repel a person, you have to be the energy you want to have to surround your life. If you want a supportive, kind, and honest friend, you have to be a supportive, kind, and honest person too. 

You cannot be vile and expect to attract genuine people, admittedly even disloyal people are attracted to loyal people like the clique of girls I became friends with, I sometimes wonder why they were drawn to me. 

But because you are genuine and true to yourself, you would be able to sniff these people out like drugs and keep focusing your energy on the type of people you want around you. 

C) Keep An Open Mind:

True friends are hard to come by, you must keep an open mind in your dealings and interactions with people. Sometimes it’s the person who seems like you have absolutely nothing in common with that turns out to be that true friend you have always wanted. 

Meeting my friend Vicky was something of this sort, we did not have much in common except for the fact that we were both studying the same course, she was always kind to me and I was dismissive because well, trust doesn’t come easy to all of us, but four years later and she’s been one of the best friends I have ever had. 

D) Give The Friendship Time to Mature: 

Good things take time to blossom, when you plant a flower, at first it’s just a seed but with time, love, and proper care it will blossom. This simple logic applies to the new friendship you are trying to grow, people try to force things and end up ruining it. 

Making a new friend doesn’t automatically mean that you start to unburden on them and expect them to be pillars that hold you up, take out time to enjoy each other’s company letting nature take its course and like a flower, your friendship will blossom.